UPD Хочу объявить, что дочитала
И вы определенно должны это почитать, сириусли!
Можно даже как оридж про рандомного айтишника. Сюжета как такового нет, более или менее концовкой является тот факт, что
крохотный спойлерБонда наконец допустили до работы "в поле", и он, видимо, отстанет от Кью) Просто будни главы отдела Q. Обычные такие. Будни.
Но это просто фееричная штука, я хочу еще, он слишком быстро закончился -_-
Ну и еще кусочки:
Really, Bond needs to be shipped off to more exciting places before Q starts taking this all personally.Bond isn’t wearing a tie, but apart from that he looks irritatingly well put together. Q hasn’t looked in a mirror yet or brushed his teeth and his jumper has a hole in the elbow that he burned while trying to create a laser that would fit into a wristwatch. Really, Bond needs to be shipped off to more exciting places before Q starts taking this all personally.
“So, just how much damage can you do in your pyjamas?” Bond asks, eyes raking easily over the horrible mess Q must look.
“We don’t all need to wear Armani to save the world,” Q replies.
“Gentlemen,” M says, in his save the pissing contest until after national security as we know it has been restored voice.
Q’s never going to win a pissing contest with Bond, but he’s also not willing to admit defeat either. His stubbornness is probably going to get him killed one day, but, well, it’s a hazard of the job, isn’t it.
He sighs and sits down in front of the hastily-constructed bank of screens and keyboards that’s presumably for him, pushing his glasses up his nose and blinking his bleary eyes a few times.Кусок побольше, но он шикарен:
If people are going to start pissing around with their computers then his job is going to get even more difficult and time-consuming“You rigged my computer to explode.”
Eve is doing the kind of shouting that means her hands are on her hips and her face is all screwed up but her voice is hardly above a whisper, because M is having a meeting of some description in his office and Eve is a shining paragon of professionalism. Q is not, which is possibly why they’re having this argument right now anyway.
“It’s a security measure,” he hisses back. “If someone breaks in here, you get under the desk, you blow up the computer, they don’t have time to shoot you.”
“I can shoot them back!” Eve snaps. “Remember? I’m not the one who took six tries to scrape through his manual gun training!”
It’s a stinging blow, and later, when they aren’t cross with each other, Eve will possibly apologise for it. They’re both MI6, though, so maybe not.
“Forgive me for not wanting you to die,” Q spits between his teeth.
“You rigged my computer to explode and didn’t tell me,” Eve insists. “I had to find out when I took the front of the server off and found it full of explosives!”
“Why were you taking the front of the server off?” Q demands.
“That is not really the issue right now!” Eve snarls.
“I think it is!” Q protests. If people are going to start pissing around with their computers then his job is going to get even more difficult and time-consuming. “You could have blown yourself up.”
“Exactly!”
“This wouldn’t be an issue if you just left things you can’t work alone!”
“Do you really want to get into that?” Eve arches an eyebrow. “Do you really want to get into that?”
Someone clears their throat behind them and they both jump, Eve hastily assuming her Miss Moneypenny expression and Q realising he doesn’t have a Miss Moneypenny expression and trying to smooth today’s cardigan down instead. He turns to find Bond is leaning in the doorway, a lazy smirk playing around his mouth.
“I have a briefing with M,” Bond offers, though his expression clearly says I wish I’d brought popcorn.Все, все, замолкаю и перестаю копировать полфика в окошко поста.
По наводке Кэллиг нашла совершенно очаровательный дженовый (!) фик про Кью:
so you were never a saintМеня дико неприлично свунит по здешнему Кью - он дружит с Манипенни, пытается читать Мастера и Маргариту в оригинале, у него своеобразный юмор, а еще он вяжет себе кардиганы (
), играет в покер в МИ-6 все с той же Манипенни и Таннером и от скуки взламывает фейсбук и твиттер. Пусть фанон, но какой очаровательный фанон
Хочется закинуть в цитатник каждый второй абзац.
Для примера пара кусочков:
читать дальше
while Q experimented with sympathetic silences and googling what to say to a friend when they have technically killed a very important double-oh agent.Q knows you’re not supposed to think thinks like “machines are easier”, because that’s what gets you put on Lists, but in a way it’s true. Machines don’t have guilt complexes – which is probably going to lead to actual problems sometime in the future – and you can cheer them up with a depression of keys or a line of code.
He didn’t know what to do about Eve’s long silences, her fingers closing nervously about her wrists, her glassy eyes reflecting sleepless nights. She took her lunch breaks in his department, black coffee and Tic Tacs and tapping nervous tattoos against his lightboxes, while Q experimented with sympathetic silences and googling what to say to a friend when they have technically killed a very important double-oh agent.
“Will it help if I offer to design you a new gun?” he offered eventually.
She shrugged, shoulders thin beneath her sheer shirt. “Can you make the bullets know who to hit?”
“They shut down that project,” Q said apologetically. “I think I accidentally made the bullets evil.”
Eve’s mouth finally quirked into something that was almost a smile. “Of course you did.”
“You need to get yourself a girl,” she tells him firmly. Her eyes flicker up and down his messy form, and adds: “or a boy.”Mrs Giang, who runs the place, does her usual loud tutting at him when he walks in. She disapproves of his haircut, his crumpled clothes, the circles under his eyes and the fact he’s so thin. Q has tried to tell her multiple times that he’s naturally skinny and he really isn’t that underfed, but she never listens to him.
“You need to get yourself a girl,” she tells him firmly. Her eyes flicker up and down his messy form, and adds: “or a boy.”
“Even my dry cleaner is judging how dateless I am,” Q complains later when Eve turns up with Chinese to watch two weeks’ worth of The Great British Bake-Off.
И про файлы Бонда:
Most of Bond’s mission files feature a lot of fade-to-blacks, ellipses and intriguing blank spaces. Q thinks Villiers was the one who described them as reading like Belle du Jour on acid.
Belle du Jour, ну почему мне так смешно? х)В общем, оно того стоит, прелестная штука, и у меня еще целая половина не прочтена **
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20.11.2012 в 12:55-
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20.11.2012 в 13:01Потому что у меня он те же эмоции вызывает)))
Ну и меня радует, что тут никакого слэша, да.